Saturday, July 31, 2010

Well, hello there....

wow, it's been a while since my last post. I have typed up a couple of different blog entries, only to hit "delete" at the end. Why? Because I have some negative energy/vibes I need to spew and I just can't bring myself to clutter my blog, which happens to have the exact opposite intention.

And yet, I feel like if I don't have an outlet, this poison is just going to eat away at me. I have to work hard, sometimes on a daily basis, to remain a positive person. Sometimes, I just want to tell it like it is without sugar-coating and blowing sunshine up your you-know-what. So, here it is, and maybe after I hit "publish" I can let it go and move on.

People suck. I seriously must have a "Please use me and abuse me" sign flashing above my head. Why is it that I attract people who manipulate, take advantage, and just in general suck the energy out of me? Do I have a personality flaw I am unaware of? Is there something about my personality that needs to change? Because I treat everyone with kindness and caring, there is just no way Karma is out to get me on this one.

Ryan tells me that I am an exceptionally nice and giving person and because most people are completely selfish and self-absorbed, I will inevitably feel used because others just don't give as much as they take. So, does that mean I need to stop being so nice and giving? How crappy is that?

I am a regular reader of some blogs and I find myself throwing a pity party for myself when I read about their wonderful friends. Friends who flock to the hospital when you're having a baby. Friends who get together on a random morning for coffee and conversation, pajamas and all. Friends who never make you feel inferior or judged because maybe you carry a few extra pounds. Friends who call you just to say hi. Do these friends exist? I know they must, because I exist. There has to be someone out there like me. Do I really have to resort to placing an ad in the paper?

ISO: Married Female, Kids Welcome. Loyal, caring, loving, and good sense of humor a must. I don't ask for much, just for you to be genuine. Manipulators need not apply.

Ugh. Well, now that I have spewed it all out, I will be working on moving forward. I do not like this post, and I hope all posts from here on out contain nothing but good! Be Amazed, Be Blessed!