Saturday, December 18, 2010

Well-Versed in MER

Mer is a word my sister, our friend Sara and I kind of "invented" in high school. What is hilarious about it, is that we have our families, friends, co-workers, husbands, and children using the word, too. It really should be a part of the Urban Dictionary, if you ask me. What does Mer mean? Nothing, and everything, all in one. Mer's connotation hinges on the tone and inflection given when saying it. Clear as mud? Let me try to help...

(disclaimer: these are just examples and in no way are meant to completely define each Mer).

Mer! (angry)=You are not going to believe this crap!
Mer. (emotionless)=I'm bored; Hi; Conversation space-filler; I'm done talking, time to hang up.
Mer? (lighthearted tone)=Is it really you? It's about time we talked!
Mer! (pain)=Holy crap, that hurt!
Mer! (irritated and annoyed)=Ugh, why don't you get what I am trying to say?!
Mer! (disgusted)=That has to be the stinkiest diaper I have ever changed!
Mer! (excited)=Yum! Chocolate!
Mer! (judgmental sarcasm)=omgIcan'tbelievethatcameltoewalkingourway.

To know Mer is to love Mer. You must try it to love it.


Friday, December 17, 2010

Ralphie. And I'm not referring to A Christmas Story.

I knew I shouldn't have posted about being the only family member to evade the stomach bug! Wednesday night the stomach bug hit me hard! Just like everyone else, it was pretty brutal but thankfully the worst part was short lived. For all of us, the nasty part only lasted about five hours, plus another day or so of just feeling bad. I am back to normal now, thankfully! I am hoping that is the last bug in our house this winter!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Finding My Voice

First of all, on a scale of 1-10 how wrong would it be for me to leave my husband, move to Oklahoma and marry The Pioneer Woman (assuming she swings that way)? The woman is hysterical, smart, and she cooks! Okay, so maybe it would be a 10 on the scale, but could we consider it a 6 if I invite Ryan to come with me and I share my table scraps with him? Polygamy: Is it really wrong?

Secondly, I was perusing The Pioneer Woman's website and I came across a top ten list for blogging. Some of her suggestions really made sense to me.

For example, blog often. Duh. Nobody is going to keep checking your blog if you never update. I have no interest in gaining a large readership of any kind, I keep my blogs for my family and friends and so my children will be able to see who I was/am in my own written words.

Another example: write in your own voice. Write exactly how you would talk to your sister or your best friend. And that's when I realized that I was trying to be way too formal and PC about things. My own blog isn't written in my own voice, how silly is that? I am the type who proof reads a hundred times for typos before hitting "publish" and I have also censored myself in a few different ways. No more! And that should be a change for the better because I can be pretty hilarious when I don't have the pressure of being perfect.

And since I will be writing in my own voice from now on, my next post will introduce you to the word MER.

RAK Update

23/32: Gave change to one of the charities at an intersection.
24/32: Collected 2 abandoned carts in the Target parking lot.

8 more to go by the end of the year!

Captain Puketastic and his two Puketeers

Saturday we had a great day running errands as a family. Lately, it has been so enjoyable to "go bye-bye" as I like to say. The kids are so well behaved (usually) in public and they really enjoy going different places with us. It's actually easier to go places with the kids now, as opposed to staying home where they just antagonize each other and bicker.

Anways, getting back to the title of this post...About 9pm, Ryan complained that his stomach was upset and he asked me if I felt okay. I felt kind of achey in my upper back, but that's not super unusual for me since I'm still nursing Chloe. I decided to do a super does of Vitamin D3 (HUGE immune system boost for those who may not know, even better than Vitamin C!) and go to bed. I had given the rest of the family some Vitamin D3 earlier in the night so I didn't bother Ryan with more. Perhaps I should have. The next thing I know, he's waking me up asking if we had an Pepto Bismol. I told him I thought we did and told him where, and then promptly fell back asleep.

The next morning, he slept. And slept. And slept. When he finally emerged from the basement he informed me he had been up all night puking with the Big D to boot. Ew! He also told me to avoid the basement as he had TWO trashcans filled with puke. Ugh.

The kids and I continued the Vitamin D3 and added in some homeopathics to try to save ourselves. Monday came and went without incident. In fact, the kids and I had a fabulous day of great behavior and great eating. Both kids ate a ton of dinner, which turned out to be the calm before the storm. The puke floodgates (for both kids) began at 1:30 am. Tucker was throwing up every 30-45 minutes! He was scared, screaming while he "coked" (choked). I was covered in puke, the bathroom was covered in puke, and we had several jammie changes. I stayed with Tucker and Ryan tended to Chloe, who definitely had a much easier time with things. The puking stopped at 6am, Ryan called in sick to help with the kids, and we spent all day yesterday trying to rest and get better.

The kids are much better today, although Chloe is just now getting the Big D, she is happy and her usual self. I have yet to catch the bug and at this point, I think I dodged the bullet. I am still washing the mounds of puke laundry, but I think if I was going to get it, I would already be sick. At least I hope anyways.....

Oh, and in better, more exciting news, CHRISTMAS IS 10 DAYS AWAY!!!!! I can't wait!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

15 Months

Chloe is now 15 months old! I can't believe how fast time has flown by. We have also kind of turned the corner on the whole "having babies so close together makes Katy a dull girl" thing. She is so independent now and she is so much fun! She has spunk and personality and she is super duper smart. Don't tell Tucker, but I think she might even be smarter than he was at this age, and that is pretty freaking smart.

Her language skillz are amazing. I kid you not, yesterday she reached for a ceramic snowman on the end table and I told her not to touch it because it is breakable. She immediately repeated me and walked around saying "breakable" the rest of the day. Three syllable words at just over one year? That's my girl! And I have a feeling I will be saying that a lot in her life. I am just so proud of her in everything she does!

She's a climber, which gets her into trouble on a daily basis. I can't count how many times I've caught her on top of the kitchen table or perched on top of our glass topped coffee table in the basement! Good thing she's only 17 pounds!!!

I need to stop being lazy with blogging and get some recent pics on here, she is such a pretty little thing! She does, however, have a mullet. Made worse by her bang trim last week where the stylist really did a horrible job! I guess that's what happens when you opt for convenience and have your daughter's hair cut at Sports Clips where they cater to boy and men's cuts. *sigh* Lesson learned.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Knocking on Wood

Do I dare even say it? Tonight was the second night in a row that Tucker went to bed by himself without so much as a wimper!

I have posted about his bedtime issues/separation anxiety issues before. We have tried technique after technique, to no avail. I was up Googling "Toddler Sleep Problems" late at night last week and came across a youtube video of a new technique. The youtube video was just a teaser that eventually led me to a website where I paid $10 to view the actual technique. It also had a money back guarantee, so I figured I really had nothing to lose.

Wow. It was so simple. And drama free. And effective. I am at a loss for words and so grateful! I only hope it continues to work for us!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Great Merger

It is time. It has become quite apparent to me that I am unable to keep up with three different blogs. Plus, when the time comes to have baby #3, I just cannot imagine starting up a fourth! I will still occasionally post pictures on Tucker and Chloe's blogs, but I am going to start making all of my posts on this one from now on. I think I will be able to post more often because I won't become overwhelmed with the idea of keeping things "even."

Grandpa Gannaway

Holy Cow, what a month! I feel like I have been running around like a crazy person!

Ryan's grandpa very unexpectedly died last week after he had an aneurysm rupture. He died in surgery but his organs had been without blood too long (they have to clamp the artery to perform the surgery), so although they successfully patched the rupture, his organs were failing. It is a blessing though because if he had survived, he would have required lifelong dialysis and his brain was not profused so he would have also had mental impairment. Definitely not how he would have wanted to live.

We are all quite worried about Grandma. She is not the most mentally "there" person, she gets confused easily and Grandpa was her rock. Time will tell if she is able to continue living in her home without him. I just can't imagine being married 62 years and then suddenly being a widow. So sad for her.

Grandpa died on November 4th and his 81st birthday was to be November 9th. Ryan and I organized an impromptu golf tournament in his honor on the day of his birthday. We were even able to find a local screen printing place who really did us a favor in order to get shirts printed for us with only a four hour notice! Flying Colors Screen Printing did an awesome job! We have decided to make this an annual golf tournament and are already making plans to expand it next year, this year was so last minute it was just for family. The shirts were awesome, I need to get the pics from my mother in law's camera, but we had "The 1st Annual Chip Off the Old Block Golf Tournament in Memory of Evert Gannaway" printed on them. There was also a really nice graphic of a golfer on the front.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

RAK 22/32

Just ordered some Scentsy for Miss Khloe's online Scentsy party! (See post below). I can't wait for my house to smell like something other than a poopy diaper! :)

Update on one of my RAK recipients

You may remember me talking about a sweet little girl I don't even know named Khloe. I linked to her Caring Bridge website in one of my RAK posts. Little Khloe is doing really good! She was able to go home for a brief time but ended up back in the hospital with pneumonia. She is getting much better again and will hopefully be home soon. I just love reading her mom's posts, she is such a positive and faithful woman, totally laying Khloe's life in God's hands.

Anyways, I am going to link the blog again because today's post has a couple of new ways to help Khloe and her family out. Her mom is having an online book fair to help earn money toward buying Khloe some books. All you have to do is click on the link, order your own books for your children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, whoever, and Khloe will in turn earn points toward her own books. She is hooked up to a bi-pap machine a lot of the time, so she doesn't get to be as mobile as she'd like, a book would be her perfect toy!

Another person is hosting an online Scentsy party for Khloe, with profits being donated to her medical bills. Not only do you get 15% off of your order, but you get to stock up on your Scentsy and know that you are also helping out a sweet family. I just recently went to my first Scentsy party and they have some fantastic scents! I will for sure be stocking up on my fall/winter scents!

Of course, I know there are a ton of families in need. I am not saying you have to help this particular one. If you know someone in person, please think of doing something nice for them. This is about helping somebody, monetarily or otherwise. It could be as simple as having your child decorate a card for an elderly person in a nursing home or volunteering your time at the Lord's Diner. What are you doing to make someone's day a little brighter? I guarantee the recipient will remember your kindness long after you've forgotten.

Here are Khloe's links: (Khloe's blog) (The link for the online book party) (The link for the online Scentsy party)

RAK 21/32

Donated coffee to the troops while at Starbucks today.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

RAK 20/32

Let someone ahead of me in the grocery store check out line.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


As I sit down to write this post, I am still unsure of if I will actually post it. I am hoping it will be cathartic for me, even though it may make me feel vulnerable. I am hoping it will be inspiring to others, who may feel like they should remain silent in similar circumstances. Deep breath, here we go....

Why do we, as women, keep certain happenings of our lives so private? I am guilty of this myself. When we were trying to have our first child, we were struggling with infertility. Did I talk about it with anyone? Nope. I suffered in silence, smiled through welled-up eyes when someone lightheartedly teased about us"needing an instruction manual," secretly made doctor's appointments without even a glimmer of support from anyone around me. Why? I have no idea. I am an open book on all other areas of my life, but somehow I have deemed reproduction to be off-limits. And I know I'm not alone. It wasn't until I blogged about my struggle on Tucker's blog, that I had friends come to me with similar stories. Which brings me to my newest topic of Taboo.

I had a miscarriage this week. Ryan was out of town, and when the bleeding started I had nobody to call. Nobody knew I was pregnant yet and my mind was freaking out. Am I miscarrying? Is this just implantation spotting? Was this because I lifted a 50 pound bag of dog food today? Maybe I'm bleeding because Tucker jumped on my stomach when we were playing earlier. I Googled. I Googled some more. Oh, and by the way, I think it's totally crappy of advertisers to have annoying pop-up ads that won't go away when someone has looked up something so depressing as Miscarriage Symptoms. Geesh. /tangent.

I went to the doctor the next day, by this time, there was no question in my mind what was happening. This was not just spotting anymore. I just have to make a sidenote about my doctor here because I think he is exceptional. I cannot say enough good things about him. He is the doctor who delivered Chloe and I have been nothing but impressed by Dr. D. He is so kind and compassionate and when I tried to brush all of this off like everything was fine, he reminded me it's okay to feel let down and disappointed. He reminded me that even though this was an early loss, your mind quickly starts making plans and having visions of the future when you see that plus sign on the pregnancy test. How true his word were. I had already calculated my due date and daydreamed about how neat it was going to be for Ryan to have a baby born right around his birthday and/or Father's Day. June 17th is when I was due. I had already made a mental note of what gender neutral summer clothes I needed to pull out of storage. I had made another mental note to get my maternity coat back from my sister. I was making plans for this baby and to have that melt away in just a few hours was heartbreaking. Even though my intuition told me from the beginning that something wasn't right, I still had dreams for this baby. And you know what else I loved that Dr. D did? He referred to it as a baby, not a fetus, not a clump of cells. A baby.

It was confirmed with the results of my bloodwork that I had a complete miscarriage, which is a blessing because that means I don't have to have any other bloodwork done and I don't have to have a D&C.

I have to say, this isn't exactly a club I ever had the desire to join, but I am here. I have a family member and a couple of friends who also belong to this club, but I have a sneaking suspicion there are even more who never talked about it. Do I wish none of us belonged? Of course. Do I wish more of us would talk about our hurt and disappointment and sadness. Yes.

This post was written a few days ago. I am doing well, but I think this post does need to be published. I am not ashamed of my miscarriage and if this post helps one person feel like they aren't alone, then it was all worth it.

Monday, October 4, 2010


I love my husband. I love my children. I love my job. I love my life.

Just feeling lucky tonight, no special reason for this post. :)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Finding my Zen

What a rough week.

First, we have Tucker's sleep disturbances that require one of us to sleep on an air mattress in his room. He is waking constantly through the night, but if someone is there to reassure him, he falls right back to sleep. If someone is not there, we get to deal with hysteria and at least a one hour saga of getting him back to sleep. Nevermind that Chloe is still waking 1-2 times a night to nurse, I am basically running on caffeine at this point. I'll sleep when I'm dead, right?

Second, we have the fact that Ryan was out of town all week. We normally alternate rooming-in with Tucker to lessen one another's lack of sleep, but this week it was all me. Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way upset with Tucker. I don't know why this is happening (although I did finally see the presence of the dreaded two year molars tonight, just barely emerging), but I know it's not intentional on his part. He is just a little bit sensitive and needy right now, and that's okay. It just makes for a really tired Momma.

Third, my house looks like a freaking tornado hit it. Being the only parent around this week and having to go to bed when Tucker goes to bed, I have not had the opportunity to do anything around the house. And anyone who knows my children's personalities would totally understand why I can't get a thing done while they are awake. I gave birth to parasites. Oh, and Chloe is a double-whammy, spending half of her day being a parasite and the other half of the day trying to give me a heart attack with her adventurous self.

Update: This post has been sitting in my draft folder for, um, not quite sure...a few weeks, maybe? I had to laugh when I found it because things have not changed. At all. Ryan is still going out of town for a week at a time, both kids are still parasites, both are still not sleeping through the night. My house is still a disaster, despite daily efforts to make it presentable. Can I scream now????

Sunday, September 26, 2010

RAK 18 & 19/32

Donated coffee to the troops overseas at Starbucks.

Brought my neighbor's newspapers up to their porch, they must be out of town....

Monday, September 13, 2010

RAK 17/32

I belong to a couple of different forums online and I found out about this story from one of those sites. I don't know if I am touched by her story because she is a month younger than Chloe, or maybe it's because her name is Khloe, or maybe it's just because she's cute as a button, but reading her story just broke my heart. Khloe was born with many defects, and right now she is fighting for her life. Her family is amazingly strong and faithful, and whether Khloe makes it out of the hospital or not, they will be left with astronomical medical bills. Khloe has had a rough week, but the past couple of days have been very encouraging!

I urge everyone who reads this to, at the very least, pray for her, her family and the medical staff caring for her. Or you can follow my lead and if you feel led to commit your own random act of kindness, donate anything you can to help her family pay for her medical care. You can donate by going to this website:

You can stay updated on her fight for her life by visiting: http//

Saturday, September 11, 2010

RAK 16/32

Could it be??? Am I really halfway done? Yay!

I waved someone through ahead of me in heavy traffic yesterday.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Cynic or Samaritan? You choose.

I was in Wichita today, stopped at a stoplight in a busy intersection. And there he was, a disheveled man holding a sign. He was homeless and was asking for help. I smiled and waved, feeling awkward as usual when I am in that situation. And my mind wandered back to when I was 17 and my eyes teared up.

My family was in Albuquerque, New Mexico for a cousin's wedding. I don't remember exactly where we were, but it seemed like we were at some kind of Art Market with my Uncle Ron and Aunt Sharon. I was approached by a Native American couple, smelling of alcohol, the woman had two black eyes and they just begged me for money, telling me a story of how they were living in their car and they were mugged and beaten. I was taken aback because I had never been faced with a situation like that before. I opened my purse and gave them all the cash I had, a whole $4.

My Uncle Ron took me aside and almost scolded me for giving them money. He said, "who do you think gave her those black eyes? It wasn't a mugger, it was her husband. That is their game; to take advantage of naive people, that's how they make their living. They are going to take your money and go buy liquor with it."

Wow. I know he was right and I felt really stupid. I remember choking back tears, partly because I felt really young and dumb and partly because I felt sorry for them. How sad to live a life of lies and addiction. I sort of became a cynic after that and that makes me sad, too. I no longer roll my window down and give my change to the person with the bucket, always skeptical of whether or not they really need money to survive or even if the charity they are collecting for is legit.

How do you know when someone is truly in need? I heard once that in big cities, beggars can make quite the living just taking advantage of generous people. I don't know the answer, but my Aunt Kelly did something this past winter and I think she handled it beautifully. She drove past a homeless man, took off her warm socks and gave them to him. He was so appreciative and I believe she gathered even more items the next day and took him more things. (Kelly, if you're reading this, please leave a comment and tell how it all went memory is foggy).

The next time I see someone in need I am going to react more like my Aunt Kelly and less like my Uncle Ron. Open your heart and your mind and maybe, just maybe, you will make a difference in someone's life.

Friday, August 27, 2010

RAK 15/32

Yes, I know this RAK is not for a stranger but given all of the details I think it is quite worthy of being counted.

Ryan's grandma has a bad back. She called the office yesterday to schedule an appointment with me. I could not get her in today due to the office remodel so the receptionist scheduled her for next week. Poor Betty got confused on her appointment date and time and showed up this afternoon and nobody was there except for Aric. I guess she waited in the lonesome waiting room for 30 minutes before she was brave enough to walk down the hallway to find someone.

After Aric called me and told me what happened, I decided I would make a house call, free of charge (yes, I am a meanie and still charge family when they see me in the office, I do have overhead afterall!) to help ease her pain. She was in tears she was so grateful!

Oh, and to top it off, I was starving and delaying my fabulous steak dinner to take care of her.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Skeletons in My Closet

I was at my parents' house a couple of weeks ago trying to get Tucker to lay down for a nap in my old bedroom. The closet doors were open and I spotted a familiar box on the top shelf. I pulled it down and written across the top in a black marker was "High School Stuff." I decided to take the box home to look through what I had, at one time, deemed important to keep. The box has been sitting in my car until today.

After a particularly trying and difficult day, I decided to drive out to the local dairy farm to pick up some more milk and eggs. Luckily, both kids fell asleep (they were in serious need of sleep so this was a major Woo Hoo!) so I just sat in my driveway with the car running while I took the cardboard lid off the the box full of memories.

Most of what was in the box went in the Trash Pile. I really wondered why I had kept most of it! I found school pictures from my high school, I went through some, shall we say, awkward phases! I'm so glad I discovered the art of the Eyebrow Wax!

Thrown in the box were several returned assignments from my senior English class. In that class, we had to do 15 minutes of freewriting each day. Oh My Goodness!!! Let me just say, I am so glad I did not make any major life decisions at this time in my life! My immaturity was hysterical! The funniest entry was dated January 15, 1996, where the topic of the day must have had something to do with what famous person would you want to meet. And I quote:

"Of course I would include Ren & Stimpy because they are my heroes."

Wow. I was so introspective.

Happy, happy! Joy, joy!

Monday, August 23, 2010

RAK 14/32

Today I was at Dillons and they had paper bags of groceries by the checkout that you could purchase. The items inside are then donated to children who need food on the weekends when they can't rely on school lunches. No child should go hungry, I can't imagine the fear and food issues it would cause to have so little. I would encourage all of you to look for these displays next time you are in line at Dillons!

RAK 13/32

See, I told you I wasn't giving up! Today I wrangled a lonesome cart left in the parking lot at Target.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear Enfamil,

Thank you so much for mailing me a box today to remind me of Chloe's first birthday! I was so surprised to find a gift in my mailbox and hurried into the house to open it. Wow! I had no idea that babies need formula after turning a year old! Nevermind that I have breastfed Chloe since day one, I will be sure to use the two $5 off coupons to purchase the Next Step Formula to make sure she gets the DHA she needs. However, I was a little surprised at what I found when I looked at the ingredients. The first three ingredients you list are: nonfat milk, oil, and corn syrup solids.

Why the hell would I feed that to my child? Are you kidding me? I'm sure her brain development would really thrive on that. There are many reasons I breastfeed my child, among them being that my body naturally alters the composition of my milk to meet her needs as she grows. Take your formula and shove it.

Very Annoyed Milky Momma

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Friends Like Me

So, on my quest to find "friends like me" I think I need to step out of my little comfort zone and put myself out there. Find a group with like-minded women and become a part of that village. First, let me say that I have a touch of social anxiety. I do not like not knowing what to expect or not knowing what comes next. I've been that way my whole life. My mom always tells the stories of the days when my class would have a field trip. I would quiz her on the order of things, such as:

"When will I get on the bus?"
"How will I know which lunch is mine?"
"Which group will I be in?"

Et Cetera, Et Cetera. Heck, I even asked the orthodontist if my parents would still have to pay for my braces if I happened to die before my treatment was complete. I am just that weird. Hmmm....maybe that is why I am in this position...

So, to find like minded women I have two specific ideas: finding a church group or Le Leche League. I think I am going to start with the latter and see where it takes me. My homework for this week is to find my local meeting time and place and GO. Going will be the hardest part, but if I want my situation to change, I have to be the one to change it. It's not like new friends are randomly going to knock on my door.....unless they are Jehovah's Witnesses or selling new windows and siding.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Well, hello there....

wow, it's been a while since my last post. I have typed up a couple of different blog entries, only to hit "delete" at the end. Why? Because I have some negative energy/vibes I need to spew and I just can't bring myself to clutter my blog, which happens to have the exact opposite intention.

And yet, I feel like if I don't have an outlet, this poison is just going to eat away at me. I have to work hard, sometimes on a daily basis, to remain a positive person. Sometimes, I just want to tell it like it is without sugar-coating and blowing sunshine up your you-know-what. So, here it is, and maybe after I hit "publish" I can let it go and move on.

People suck. I seriously must have a "Please use me and abuse me" sign flashing above my head. Why is it that I attract people who manipulate, take advantage, and just in general suck the energy out of me? Do I have a personality flaw I am unaware of? Is there something about my personality that needs to change? Because I treat everyone with kindness and caring, there is just no way Karma is out to get me on this one.

Ryan tells me that I am an exceptionally nice and giving person and because most people are completely selfish and self-absorbed, I will inevitably feel used because others just don't give as much as they take. So, does that mean I need to stop being so nice and giving? How crappy is that?

I am a regular reader of some blogs and I find myself throwing a pity party for myself when I read about their wonderful friends. Friends who flock to the hospital when you're having a baby. Friends who get together on a random morning for coffee and conversation, pajamas and all. Friends who never make you feel inferior or judged because maybe you carry a few extra pounds. Friends who call you just to say hi. Do these friends exist? I know they must, because I exist. There has to be someone out there like me. Do I really have to resort to placing an ad in the paper?

ISO: Married Female, Kids Welcome. Loyal, caring, loving, and good sense of humor a must. I don't ask for much, just for you to be genuine. Manipulators need not apply.

Ugh. Well, now that I have spewed it all out, I will be working on moving forward. I do not like this post, and I hope all posts from here on out contain nothing but good! Be Amazed, Be Blessed!

Friday, June 18, 2010

RAK 12/32

My mom and I were in the Hobby Lobby parking lot this afternoon and a car in the parking lot had its trunk wide open. Nobody was in or around the car and the trunk had items in it. We assumed the owner must have hit her trunk release and didn't know it. After I stole all of her belongings, I kindly shut her trunk.

Monday, June 14, 2010

RAK 11/32

No, I have not given up on my 32 Random Acts of Katy, I am just taking a bit longer to get them done. I totally underestimated how long it would take to complete these, given I have two children with me at pretty much all times. So, bear with me, it will be finished in due time.

RAK 11: Collecting a lonely stray shopping cart at Dillons that was in the middle of the parking lot. (and shame on the shopper who did not care to return it to the cart return!).

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


I'm sad. Sadder than I ever thought I would be when I weaned him. As I said in the post a few days ago, tandem nursing was not an overly pleasant experience. And Tucker was a total Boob Monger who would ask for "mulk" approximately 1,332 times per day, every day. Nursing him over the past nine months was exhausting.

I had already planned on weaning him this summer so it's not like it wasn't already in the works. I knew I was ready, I knew he was not. That is what makes this hard. He is doing better than I thought he would, we've only had a couple really hard moments that left us both in tears, and me in a milk soaked tank top.

Tucker and I just had a very special bond over nursing. A bond Chloe and I don't really have. Don 't get me wrong, I love nursing Chloe but it isn't the same as nursing Tucker. It's difficult to explain, but she just doesn't seem as attached to nursing as he was; she is just a much more independent baby overall. I won't be one bit surprised if she self weans before I ever have to make this decision again.

I can't explain how much I just want to go back on the plan and nurse him again. I want to walk into his room right now, snatch him from his bed and sit in the Mulk Chair with him and let him nurse until he's so full of milk his belly is big and warm and happy. I have been wrestling with that all day today. On one hand I see that it would be a big mistake. That if I did that, I would need to resign myself to the fact that I will let him self wean, even if he's four or about to start college. Even if that means I nurse through another pregnancy and another baby. Right now, when emotions are high. I think I could do it. But I know I don't want to.

I think to myself, "maybe I'll just let him nurse at night." That sounds like pure bliss right now, a little bit of balance. But I have to remember the purpose of weaning; to hopefully help clear up his eczema. If his allergy panel comes back with my milk as the causative factor, well then I will be happy to say Case Closed. But if, by chance, the allergy panel comes back and says something else is the culprit, it is going to very hard to not let him have one session a day.

On the other hand, we are almost home free. He is doing well, and each day it gets better. It seems cruel to flip flop on him. It would be like ripping a Band-Aid off slowly. I need to stick with this, as much as it hurts. He's two, it's not like I didn't give him my absolute best; it's not like he is even going to have long lasting memories of this. It will be okay. He will be okay.

I thought this is what I wanted. I thought I was ready for this. I was wrong.

RAK 10/32

Adding money to my total at Sam's to help the Children's Miracle Network.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The End of an Era

Tonight was the last night I will ever nurse my firstborn. Just typing that made the tears start flowing again. I can't think of a more bittersweet moment than the one we shared just a few minutes ago. I didn't know this was coming so soon, but it feels like the right thing to do.

Tucker has been battling a severe case of eczema on the back of his knees. I have tried everything I can think of on a natural level (no steroid creams are used in this house) and it is just not clearing up. The one thing I have not tried is taking him off of my milk. Tonight he was screaming in pain and I just can't let him go through that anymore if, by any chance, my milk is causing the problem. In a way, I think it's good that our nursing relationship is ending this way. I am weaning him in an effort to help get him out of pain. I hope in the coming days where I will have to stay strong and stand my ground, that tidbit will make it a little easier to stay the course.

My first goal with breastfeeding was to nurse him until he got teeth. The teeth came, and to my surprise there wasn't much pain (other than a few nips here and there, nothing major). My next goal was to nurse him until he was a year old. Oops, got pregnant when he was 9 months old, but I kept going even though my OB at the time (I fired her about halfway through the pregnancy because of her lack of knowledge about being pregnant and breastfeeding) told me I had to wean him. There was just no way I was going to stop short of my goal.

I thought for sure he would self-wean during the pregnancy. Nope. By the end of my pregnancy with Chloe, I felt like I had waited too long to wean him and he would suffer irreparable damage from being weaned, and then weeks later being "replaced" with a little sister. Tandem nursing has not been the dreamy experience I had hoped it would be. It has not, in all honesty, been the best idea I've ever had. I had read online about how wonderful tandem nursing is, how it helps the older child accept the new sibling, yadda yadda yadda. For me, it was very difficult with many mixed emotions. I do hold a few mental snapshots where it was pure bliss, however. Times when they weren't fighting for a good position and they both had their eyes rolling back into their heads on the verge of milk comas. Times where Tucker would reach over and pat his brand new sister, or when Chloe would reach over and touch Tucker's face. Times when they would hold hands while nursing. That was beautiful and I hope I never forget.

Along the way, I am sure I freaked out many people. Before I was "one of them," I was totally freaked out by extended nursers. I could not fathom why a woman would want to nurse a toddler. Ew, gross! Um, if they can walk over to you and lift your shirt and ask for it, then they are way too old. Oh, how naive I was! Extended nursing is certainly not for everyone and I understand that. I hope along the way I have educated those who do not understand and I hope I have inspired just one mom to breastfeed.

I have met my goal. I have exceeded the World Health Organization's recommended two year minimum. I have done an amazing job and I deserve the right to say so. Tucker is 27 months old. I have been breastfeeding since February 21, 2008 and tandem nursing for the past 9 months.

Our last session took place on the big chair in our living room. I was trying to calm him from screaming in pain, tears running down my face. Some tears were for his pain, some tears were from the realization that this would be our last "Boo" or "Mulk" session. My husband got the camera and took a few pictures of our last time breastfeeding. I look like crap in them but they are the most beautiful crappy pictures I've ever laid eyes on.

Tucker kissed my breast and said, "Kiss Mulks." It was so cute. I explained to him that after tonight he would not be getting any more of Mommy's milk and that he was a Big Boy now and the milk was just for Chloe now. He said okay and I am so hoping he understands. I expect to have a rough week ahead so I would really appreciate any prayers and good thoughts you could send my way.

Tucker: You are amazing. You have completely transformed me as a person. I cannot wait to see who you become and I'm so excited for the next chapter of you as my Big Boy. I love you, Baby Boy. Always and Forever. Love, Mommy

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

RAK 9/32

Another Starbucks drink buying RAK today. Um, according to my calculations I am only 28% done with my RAK mission. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppp.

My birthday is tomorrow and the month of May has six days left, I had better get a move on!!!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

RAK 8/32

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am passionate about breastfeeding. Seriously passionate. Like, I want to help every single new mother experience what I have had the privilege of experiencing by breastfeeding my two babies. I want to be that New Mom's Boob Cheerleader, whether I know her or not.

And that little tidbit brings me to my 8th Random Act of Katy. I was in Target today, sans kiddos, leisurely browsing the baby section. I was in the baby feeding section and there was an elderly lady on a cell phone trying to figure out the breast pumps and what she needed to buy her granddaughter. I could tell she was struggling, so I basically just parked my cart next to her and made eye contact. She asked me (while still on the phone) if I knew anything about the breast pumps and I told her I did and that I'd be happy to help her. She hung up the phone and I made my recommendations and explained a few things to her, and also helped her pick out some breast milk storage bags. She was sooooo appreciative!

Is it stalkerish/weird that I wanted to give her my business card so her granddaughter could call me if she had any questions? Yeah, probably....good thing I didn't. Oh, and GO BOOB JUICE!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

RAK 6&7/32

At Starbucks today, I bought drinks for the car behind me in the drive thru(2 people). Little did I know when I pulled away that the barista accidentally gave me one of their drinks. I don't know what it was, but it was disgusting! It was super sweet and I think had Gingerbread syrup or something in it. It was so bad, I had to go back and get what I had ordered. I pulled back through and the girl was so apologetic. I guess the guy took a sip of the drink I had ordered and almost barfed. I always order an Americano with cream (a strong coffee drink with nothing sweet about it for those of you non-coffee drinkers) so I am sure he was dry heaving considering how super sweet he expected the drink to be! Anyways, the barista told me how happy he was that I paid for their drinks that he, in turn, paid for the car that was behind them! See, that is what this whole thing is about. Be Amazed. Be Blessed. Be Inspired.

Oh, and I got a free drink coupon for my next visit to make up for their boo-boo. Woot!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mama's Day

Today was my third Mother's Day. It was nothing exciting, we had breakfast with my mom and dad, my sister and her sweet little family. Afterward, we spent some time driving around "shopping" for a home or neighborhood that appealed to us, back home for a wonderful THREE HOUR nap for every single one of us (best gift ever!), out to dinner and then a little more driving around looking at houses. Like I said, it was nothing exciting but it was so special because I was with the ones I love. And the little ones I love were just scrumptious today, so sweet and well behaved!

RAK 5/32

I went out for drinks the other night with friends and left a ridiculously large tip for the waitress (who coincidentally is a family friend). I had planned on doing that before I knew who our waitress was, so even though it was not for a random stranger, the intent was there so I'm counting it!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

RAK 4/32

Told the girl working the drive thru at Taco Bell that she was gorgeous (she was!). Pretty sure she thought I was a)crazy and b)hitting on her.

RAK 3/32

Let someone cut in front of me in a really, really long back up of traffic. And I was in a hurry to get home.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

RAK 2/32

Random Act of Katy #2

Today I had to go to the mall to buy coordinating outfits for our family picture shoot this weekend. I always hold doors open for people if they are close enough behind me, but it's really more of a propping of the door until they can hold it open for themselves. Today I saw an elderly couple approaching the doors as I was exiting. By their slow gait, I knew I was going to have to wait a bit for them to get to the doors. So, I waited and waited, and when the time was right, I walked outside, held the door open, smiled and told them to have a great day!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

RAK 1/32

Random Act of Katy #1:

At the end of my garage sale today, we were left with two working dryers that didn't sell. Rather than haul them to the dump, I placed an ad on craigslist saying they were free to the first people who picked them up. Later, I was sitting at the kitchen table thinking about my mission this month, wondering what my first RAK would be.

I checked my email a little while later and saw that I had a nice thank you email from the person who picked up one of the dryers. She was very kind, thanked me and let me know how much her family needed it. She could have anonymously taken it and I would have never given that dryer another thought, but her kind email let me know that her family needed to be blessed...and they were. :)

Monday, April 19, 2010

32 RAK (no, that has nothing to do with my bra size)

Inspired by a blog I've long lost the link to, I plan to do 32 Random Acts of Kindness throughout the month of May to celebrate my 32nd birthday.

First of all, how the heck am I 32 already? That's halfway to 64 you know. (See Ryan? I can do simple math equations!)

Second of all, I am experiencing some major writer's block while trying to compile a list of 32 separate acts. I need some help from my peeps...I know somebody is reading this, as my site counter continues to click upward. I know you are out there! So click "comment", remain anonymous or "out" yourself as one of my readers, but help me come up with a good list!

Please keep in mind that I am not made of money so even though I would love to pay for someone's electric bill or mortgage payment, that simply isn't possible! I'm not saying your ideas need to be free, but the less expensive, the better! Help me amaze and bless someone else!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Movin' on Up

Ryan and I have decided to sell our house. This house has been a thorn in my side since we bought it. When we bought it, it was in foreclosure so we got it for a great price. It needed a ton of work, the couple that owned it was divorcing and were also apparently pigs...or at least had some living with them. The amount of dog urine and poop on the carpet was so vile, and the stench was so strong, my mom and mother-in-law literally gagged when they walked through it. The really disturbing part? The woman that lived here ran a daycare out of this filth! See Exhibits A-H:

We were up for the challenge. We had been looking for a house for months and had lost out on house after house. This one was an amazing price and the overall "guts" of the house were decent. The floor plan was nice, four bedrooms, two full baths, large kitchen, and fenced yard. Although we enlisted the help of very kind family members for various projects, we by and large did most of the work ourselves. We worked like dogs every single weekend until it was clean and decent enough to move in, it took about three months before it was liveable. This is what we ended up with:

An improvement, yes?

Unfortunately, I believe because of all of the stress and work involved with making this place decent, it never became our home. I still see it as "just a house" when what I really want is a home. So, that is our mission. Tie up all of the loose ends and unfinished projects, get this house on the market and into a place that is a good fit for us and our family. I'm sure I'll have many-a-post on the projects that lie ahead!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Feeling Crochet-y

My mom and I started taking a crochet class at my local recreation center. The ultimate plan is to teach Jill what we learn, become crocheting fools and open an etsy store with our adorable crafts. Being able to make money from our desire to create appeals to all of us. I feel fairly confident we can make it happen as long as our class instructor quits trying to assasinate (punny!) us by farting in our faces. True story, ask my mom...but be prepared for her to be unable to elaborate because of the uncontrollable laughing.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Schwety Momma and the Caged Animal

I have been begging for Spring for months and today it arrived full force, along with the strong Kansas wind. I think the high for today was 83, the house was definitely warm even with the windows open and the ceiling fans workin' their little blades off. I'm sure the Dust Bunnies that live atop them are quite dizzy today.

So, hot house, hot kids, hot Momma, what to do to get out and about? We went to playgroup at the school. Playgroups are Torture not easy for me. Last time there was a playgroup in the library. I was coming from work so I was in heels, had Chloe on one hip, Tucker was making every attempt to single-handedly swipe all library books off the shelves while using his Outside Voice, and to top it all off, I realized that I smelled a familiar odor coming from Chloe's diaper.

That playgroup ventured outside and ended with me near tears carrying a fussy 6 month old in one arm, a kicking and screaming 2 year old in the other after chasing him across the playground. Oh, and there was also a diaper bag and carseat to contend with. Not good, not good at all.

This week I was a little more prepared. I knew we would be outside so I made sure that I packed my infant carrier so I would be able to carry Chloe without using my arms. I also packed the dog leash for Tucker. Just kidding. Today's playgroup involved playing with sponges and water, chalk, bubbles, and Easter eggs that could be filled with rice and/or dry beans. Tucker's first venture was the water tubs with the sponges, next up was chalk, then random wandering, then bubbles. I felt kind of paralyzed because it was difficult for me to help guide and encourage him with Chloe strapped to my chest in the infant carrier. Luckily, some of the other mommas helped me out by helping him do some of the activities.

Today's playgroup ended with more hysteria. Poor little guy just doesn't like to stop playing. However, this meltdown was above and beyond a little fussiness. This was a scream all the way home and make the neighbors think my mom is killing me kind of hysteria. This behavior earned him an immediate Time Out when we got home. Uaually when he gets like that, you just put him in his room with the door shut and within five minutes the screaming has stopped and I can go in and talk with him.

Not today. Today I felt like I had a caged animal. I flashed back to watching The Hangover, when they have the tiger (or lion?) in the hotel bathroom and they need to feed it some steak. That was me, but the steak was American cheese. I wondered if I would come out alive. Once he cooled off (he had worked up quite a sweat), drank some ice water and ate some cheese, he was back to being my sweet boy. But that fit just may be his worst to date, it lasted upwards of thirty minutes. Non-stop screaming, it was pure craziness.

No, playgroups are not easy. But we go because he loves them, and because I love him. However, next playgroup I am taking an animal tranquilizer gun.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Woah. Ryan and I just had a conversation. A real life conversation!!!! And I think it lasted about an hour. Since having kids, it has been very hard to find time to make that connection and actually discuss something more profound than Tucker's blueberry poop or Chloe's stinky feet.

And good news, too, I still like talking to him. Phew, what a relief.

PS~Is there anything more painful than a huge pimple inside your nose? I didn't think so.

Friday, March 19, 2010


Funny. Loyal. Honest. Caring. Uncensored. Genuine. Proactive. Engaging. Positive. Supportive. Inspiring. Influential. Sincere. Educated. Interested. Interesting. Involved. Quirky. Coffee fan. Reliable. Present. Laid Back. Creative. Fun. Hysterical. Sarcastic. Great Conversationalist. Warm. Kind. Giving. Compassionate.

If you could describe what a best friend would be, what words would you choose? How many of those qualities are ones you already embody and which ones are lacking? What kind of friend are you to those in your life? Would You be friends with You? Just food for thought.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I look at my children daily and cannot believe I was chosen to be their Momma. I seriously don't take one second for granted. Of course I have moments of stress, exasperation, and perhaps a raised voice here and there, but seriously, thankfulness and joy just oozes out of me when it comes to my kids.

And I've noticed that not all parents are like that. I cannot tell you how many parents I run into (some even related) who see their children as an inconvenience. A bother. A just go away, I don't have time for you. To know that those children don't know the calibur of love they deserve to have, it breaks my heart. To know that not all parents read to their kids, color with their kids, have conversations with their kids, snuggle with their seems so unfair when there are infertile couples out there who want nothing more than to do those things with a child and cannot.

My goal at the end of my life is to be able to look back and feel confident that my children knew how much I loved them, not because I was their Mom and that's what I was supposed to do, but because I showed them every single day. Feeling blessed tonight, as always.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I have a hard time sometimes, balancing all of the aspects of my life. I had a hard time before kids so having two rugrats really complicates this area of my life. My house is a disaster more often than it's clean. If our dinner recipe doesn't call for a can of cream of mushroom soup in it, it must be a special occasion. If you open our refrigerator for a snack, you are welcome to choose from a spoonful of mayonnaise or a squirt of mustard. Clean laundry rarely makes it to the dressers or closets, it ends up in a huge pile on my laundry table or folded in laundry baskets. I am not exactly the SuperHousewife I thought I would be.

I used to make lists. Back in the day before I was married, my lists even had lists. I would scribble notes and take great joy in crossing off each task. I have dreams of a completely organized house, where everything has a perfect spot and I have family members who understand my system and respect the plan. I am a perfectionist of the worst kind: the procrastinating perfectionist. Hm. That would have been a great name for this blog. If only I would have thought of that sooner. Ha.

So, that is going to be my new plan of attack for this crazy house of mine. Lists. And lots of them. I am good at making them, now I just need to renew my excitement in crossing things off of said lists so they can be thrown away and a new one made.

At the top of list #1? Buy more paper.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


We have been married for six and a half years and have been to church together maybe ten times, twelve if you count our rehearsal and wedding day. Sad. Partly due to laziness, partly due to having different preferences in worship style; I enjoy a contemporary service while Ryan prefers a more traditional style. Excuses.

Last week while simultaneously nursing Chloe and perusing the internet (yes, I am that talented), I decided to check out the website of a local church I had heard about. The church seemed to match my beliefs and I felt confident in their nursery procedure, which is hugely important to me as strangers have never watched my kids. I made a mental note to mention the church to Ryan later.

I went downstairs after Chloe was asleep and immediately Ryan asked me if I wanted to go to church the next day. I was dumbfounded. If that wasn't God telling us something, then I don't know what it was! I told him I had *just* looked at a website of a church I was interested in.

The next morning, we loaded up the kids and headed off to our first service at the new church. We successfully checked Tucker and Chloe into the nursery and escaped without any drama from either of them. The praise music was a bit much for us, very loud and very contemporary...even for me. But the message! LOVED the message! Pastor is currently preaching on "You're Dead, Now What?"; a series about the afterlife. Ryan has had a lot of questions about Heaven and Hell since his Grandad died, and even though I was raised in the church, I have been unable to confidently and completely answer his questions. God knew we needed a church, God knew the questions in Ryan's heart, and God led us to this church, I am certain of it.

As I said, I was raised in the church, but honestly I pretty much never looked forward to going. I wanted to sleep in, I didn't want to get dressed up, I felt socially awkward in youth group, I couldn't pay attention to the sermon, my list could go on and on. And I certainly never thought about church mid-week! I think those days are gone, because all week I looked forward to today when I could go back and listen to another message. How awesome is that?

Yep, I think I can look past the too loud, too contemporary music. God called us to this church for a reason and He has some big plans for us as a family, I'm certain of it.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

And I Am (Amazed and Blessed)

I am not really sure what this blog will address quite yet. It may end up being a merger of Tucker and Chloe's blogs, but I would like it to be more than that. I am more than my children, and even though they have helped to define my life way more than anything else that has ever happened to me, it would be nice to have a place to share stories that may, or may not, be related to my kids. So, I guess it will just be a place for me to be myself. Hm. What a concept in a world of trying to please others and be everything to everyone. So hold on, I'm not exactly known for being able to bite my tongue. :)