I was in Wichita today, stopped at a stoplight in a busy intersection. And there he was, a disheveled man holding a sign. He was homeless and was asking for help. I smiled and waved, feeling awkward as usual when I am in that situation. And my mind wandered back to when I was 17 and my eyes teared up.
My family was in Albuquerque, New Mexico for a cousin's wedding. I don't remember exactly where we were, but it seemed like we were at some kind of Art Market with my Uncle Ron and Aunt Sharon. I was approached by a Native American couple, smelling of alcohol, the woman had two black eyes and they just begged me for money, telling me a story of how they were living in their car and they were mugged and beaten. I was taken aback because I had never been faced with a situation like that before. I opened my purse and gave them all the cash I had, a whole $4.
My Uncle Ron took me aside and almost scolded me for giving them money. He said, "who do you think gave her those black eyes? It wasn't a mugger, it was her husband. That is their game; to take advantage of naive people, that's how they make their living. They are going to take your money and go buy liquor with it."
Wow. I know he was right and I felt really stupid. I remember choking back tears, partly because I felt really young and dumb and partly because I felt sorry for them. How sad to live a life of lies and addiction. I sort of became a cynic after that and that makes me sad, too. I no longer roll my window down and give my change to the person with the bucket, always skeptical of whether or not they really need money to survive or even if the charity they are collecting for is legit.
How do you know when someone is truly in need? I heard once that in big cities, beggars can make quite the living just taking advantage of generous people. I don't know the answer, but my Aunt Kelly did something this past winter and I think she handled it beautifully. She drove past a homeless man, took off her warm socks and gave them to him. He was so appreciative and I believe she gathered even more items the next day and took him more things. (Kelly, if you're reading this, please leave a comment and tell how it all went down...my memory is foggy).
The next time I see someone in need I am going to react more like my Aunt Kelly and less like my Uncle Ron. Open your heart and your mind and maybe, just maybe, you will make a difference in someone's life.
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